Leatherface v. Pinhead (2010)

The cross-examination of potential jurors yielded plenty of Cenobites and local teenagers alike.

Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, your honor, jury, tonight we present to you two of the modern era’s more gruesome villains. One, an inbred killer from the backwoods of Texas, unloved by his family, neglected for years and years. The other, a jilted lover, abused as a child and unable to connect with society because of a crippling case of agoraphobia. I ask you, America, are these men so evil? From an IMDB scribe…

Monday movie night: Office Space!

Samir is mega-upset that we didn't give him any trivia hints.

Hey. Sorry guys. Office was busy today and we didn’t have time to get into a preview of tonight’s movie, Office Space. Come anyway. It’s very funny. If you’re checking this at the last minute and you’re worried we aren’t having a movie, fear no longer, we are indeed showing a movie, Office Space, at the regular time. And so on. Okay!

Monday Movie Night Preview: Austin Powers

"Allow myself to reintroduce myself/ My name is Austin/ pronounced like Boston/ oh ladies, how I like your costumes"

Tonight we celebrate a landmark of cinema. A true watershed in the British pastiche genre of filmmaking, its genius never seen prior and only replicated in sequels. You can’t make perfection twice. I’m speaking mostly, of course, about Liz Hurley, the original FemBot, the thespianess who crafted such lively characters from mere words on a script, who Fellini considered to have the greatest teeth for a British actress in American cinema in the modern history of British actresses being attractive in American cinema.

I read that on the internet (shortly after I published this post), ergo, it’s true.

Some important news about tonight’s viewing:

North Mississippi All Stars Info Jam Session

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching… not a question per se, but what do you have to say to that?

Saturday night is our North Mississippi All-Stars show, and we’re doing a little something different to get our fans a little more involved, since most of the time you all just sit there and passively drink and listen to music and dance and stuff. Well, we’re tired of it. You need to start carrying your weight. That’s why we’re giving you the opportunity to ask the band a question, live, in front of everyone.

Upcoming Tribute Band Ticket Extravaganza

These guys haven't even started practicing yet and LA-area terrier/talent scout Herman already knows they are the real deal.

 If there’s one thing you can rely on the State Theatre to do, it’s to spell things wrong on our marquee. If there’s another thing we are at least pretty good at, it’s hosting the world’s finest menagerie of touring tribute bands. Forgive me for getting a little bit wistful, but I love tribute bands. When I was in high school I paid a Benjermin to sit 150 yards away from Bruce Springsteen, and it was pretty good. A few weeks ago, Bruce In the USA came through and rocked the house proper. Everything I wanted to hear, loud, small venue, and in the end, there is nothing to lose. Are you going to gripe that they didn’t play that song off the Rising that only you like? Door’s that way, bud; these colors don’t run.

Anyway, we have a nice little slate of tributes coming up. And because we care, because we love you, because you mean that much to us, we are giving away tickets like we don’t need the money (we do) at various events over the next few weeks. Let me break it down for you one time, Barry White style:

St. Patrick’s Day Fan Vote

Before Friends, Jennifer Aniston had to cut her chops on the horror movie circuit.

The powers that be were sharing needles “brainstorming” and we came up with an idea that hopefully both of you loyal fans will like. While Mardi Gras is fresh on your mind, St. Patrick’s Day is only almost exactly four weeks away, or in modern Earth terms, one month. We are opening up the polls RIGHT NOW to vote for your choice of St. Patrick’s Day/Irish-tinged movies. (We’ll provide the list, you just vote. If you have a suggestion add it to the comments section of this post and we’ll put it through the washer.)

Monday Movie Night Preview: Iron Man

You ladies are receiving a citation.. for being sexy in public.

Tonight at the State we celebrate the rennaissance of a man who was once another Hollywood junkie forced to star in the feel good movie of the year every six months to support his rock-star cocaine habit, mostly so he could impress himself while his groupies listened to him ramble on about Proust after a night out at the Viper Room. That rebirth comes in the form of Iron Man, a legitimately sweet action movie directed by Jon Favreau and featuring the Dude in an awesome role as the villain, Rick Ross.

Jeff Bridges?

Rick Ross?

So you weren’t paying attention and the movie folks here at the theatre snuck in two Jeff Bridges performances in two completely different movies. What are ya gonna do? Thought so.

Anyway, Iron Man is the story of how Robert Downey Jr. and Jeff Bridges get in an argument and put on weaponized metal suits and … what else is there to say. Robert Downey Jr.  versus Jeff Bridges in weaponized metal suits? Did you want to hear about Gwenyth Paltrow?

Snow: A Recappageddon

Can I possibly add to this picture?

While the rest of the world (looking at you, Norway) proved incapable of going JUST ONE BLIZZARD WITHOUT DRESSING UP IN SCUBA GEAR AND CHASING THE GOOGLE MAPS CAR WITH A TRIDENT, I SWEAR, plenty of intellectual babies have been incubating in the womb of the State under the thick, cold, dirty, was-wet-but-now-is-just-a-spot-where-it-was-wet-before blanket we call snow. So, to make up for lost time, let me introduce you to those things in a new segment we like to call RapiDFire!!

Never trust an Iguana around your pets.

Several shows got cancelled or rescheduled or altered to account for the snow. The Iguanas were scheduled for Friday Feb 5th but have rescheduled to June 4th. The Iguanas were part of our Mardi Gras onslaught, as the New Orleans band was prepared to hold a live interview on parallels between Katrina and Haiti (which had just occurred at the time) and the original date was two days before the Super Bowl, a week before our Mardi Gras Madness Party and Tab <3enoit Valetine’s, three weeks before Trombone Shorty, and a New Orleans inspired Magic Hat Beer Dinner thrown in there too.  

Monday Movie Preview: Lebowski

This isn't NAM, Smokey, there are rules.. (couldn't come up with anything funnier than the actual dialog. sorry)

Tonight we show a movie that was meant to be shown on a Sunday afternoon to cure a hangover Monday night with a bar close by. The Big Lebowski, the Coen brothers’ epic journey of Jeffrey Lebowski, The Dude, and his quest for sanity in a world that seems to only care about breaking into his house and pissing on his rug.

Needless to say, but I’m pretty excited about it. We’ve already got a few calls making sure we are still open to show the movie tonight. Even my parents are coming. So, uh, don’t plan on sneaking a doobie up into the balcony, they will seriously harsh your mellow. No one likes to be grabbed by their ears and lectured, especially by someone else’s mom.

State Super Bowl Predictions: Partially cloudy with a 100% chance of hot dogs

Hey kim, can Ray-J do THAT??

Well it’s that time of year, folks. The Big Game is upon us. The playoffs played off in delightful fashion, and if you’re a conspiracy theorist like the amigo here then you have plenty of fodder to scratch into your wall as proof you weren’t crazy when the feds come get you. Anyway, two really good teams are playing in what appears to be an exciting Big Game on paper. (We’re legally prohibited from calling it the S*p*r B*wl so we’re going with “Big Game”.  Although I like it better as Uper Owl Sunday.)

To keep things interesting, we are giving you free hot dogs until they run out, and free wings at halftime. On top of that, I will personally hook you up IF you get one of these prop bets on the nose. I haven’t figured out what I’m going to hook you up with, but place your bets in the comments section.

Finally, I found this video in my wayward internet travels of what the Super Bowl would look like if different famous directors had been in charge of it. Pretty spot on stuff. Someone at NYU just got an A on their final. (video won’t work. mothersnapper. here is the link anyway)