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The cross-examination of potential jurors yielded plenty of Cenobites and local teenagers alike.

Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, your honor, jury, tonight we present to you two of the modern era’s more gruesome villains. One, an inbred killer from the backwoods of Texas, unloved by his family, neglected for years and years. The other, a jilted lover, abused as a child and unable to connect with society because of a crippling case of agoraphobia. I ask you, America, are these men so evil? From an IMDB scribe…

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Samir is mega-upset that we didn't give him any trivia hints.

Hey. Sorry guys. Office was busy today and we didn’t have time to get into a preview of tonight’s movie, Office Space. Come anyway. It’s very funny. If you’re checking this at the last minute and you’re worried we aren’t having a movie, fear no longer, we are indeed showing a movie, Office Space, at the regular time. And so on. Okay!

"Allow myself to reintroduce myself/ My name is Austin/ pronounced like Boston/ oh ladies, how I like your costumes"

Tonight we celebrate a landmark of cinema. A true watershed in the British pastiche genre of filmmaking, its genius never seen prior and only replicated in sequels. You can’t make perfection twice. I’m speaking mostly, of course, about Liz Hurley, the original FemBot, the thespianess who crafted such lively characters from mere words on a script, who Fellini considered to have the greatest teeth for a British actress in American cinema in the modern history of British actresses being attractive in American cinema.

I read that on the internet (shortly after I published this post), ergo, it’s true.

Some important news about tonight’s viewing: Continue Reading »

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching… not a question per se, but what do you have to say to that?

Saturday night is our North Mississippi All-Stars show, and we’re doing a little something different to get our fans a little more involved, since most of the time you all just sit there and passively drink and listen to music and dance and stuff. Well, we’re tired of it. You need to start carrying your weight. That’s why we’re giving you the opportunity to ask the band a question, live, in front of everyone. Continue Reading »

These guys haven't even started practicing yet and LA-area terrier/talent scout Herman already knows they are the real deal.

 If there’s one thing you can rely on the State Theatre to do, it’s to spell things wrong on our marquee. If there’s another thing we are at least pretty good at, it’s hosting the world’s finest menagerie of touring tribute bands. Forgive me for getting a little bit wistful, but I love tribute bands. When I was in high school I paid a Benjermin to sit 150 yards away from Bruce Springsteen, and it was pretty good. A few weeks ago, Bruce In the USA came through and rocked the house proper. Everything I wanted to hear, loud, small venue, and in the end, there is nothing to lose. Are you going to gripe that they didn’t play that song off the Rising that only you like? Door’s that way, bud; these colors don’t run.

Anyway, we have a nice little slate of tributes coming up. And because we care, because we love you, because you mean that much to us, we are giving away tickets like we don’t need the money (we do) at various events over the next few weeks. Let me break it down for you one time, Barry White style: Continue Reading »

Before Friends, Jennifer Aniston had to cut her chops on the horror movie circuit.

The powers that be were sharing needles “brainstorming” and we came up with an idea that hopefully both of you loyal fans will like. While Mardi Gras is fresh on your mind, St. Patrick’s Day is only almost exactly four weeks away, or in modern Earth terms, one month. We are opening up the polls RIGHT NOW to vote for your choice of St. Patrick’s Day/Irish-tinged movies. (We’ll provide the list, you just vote. If you have a suggestion add it to the comments section of this post and we’ll put it through the washer.)

You ladies are receiving a citation.. for being sexy in public.

Tonight at the State we celebrate the rennaissance of a man who was once another Hollywood junkie forced to star in the feel good movie of the year every six months to support his rock-star cocaine habit, mostly so he could impress himself while his groupies listened to him ramble on about Proust after a night out at the Viper Room. That rebirth comes in the form of Iron Man, a legitimately sweet action movie directed by Jon Favreau and featuring the Dude in an awesome role as the villain, Rick Ross.

Jeff Bridges?

Rick Ross?

So you weren’t paying attention and the movie folks here at the theatre snuck in two Jeff Bridges performances in two completely different movies. What are ya gonna do? Thought so.

Anyway, Iron Man is the story of how Robert Downey Jr. and Jeff Bridges get in an argument and put on weaponized metal suits and … what else is there to say. Robert Downey Jr.  versus Jeff Bridges in weaponized metal suits? Did you want to hear about Gwenyth Paltrow? Continue Reading »

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